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She was born today at 12:02 PM MDT, 21 inches long and weighing 10 and a half pounds (no, that is not a typo. 4,767 grams of baby). Beth is fine but sore (obviously!) and Lily is absolutely the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. I’m a touch tired after “sleeping” in a recliner last night, so off to shower and celebrate with an 8 dollar, 40 proof (also not a typo. 20% alcohol) beer.

Pictures will be posted soon.

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I’m going on vacation tomorrow, so there will be no new TBOTCOTW until the 12th. I’ve shut down comments unless you authenticate with TypeKey, and trackbacks will be held for approval until I get back, so don’t ping me ten times when your first one doesn’t show up on the page. Blame that on the spammers, they are teh suck.

Hopefully when I get back I’ll have some good ten-year high school reunion stories. Star quarterback is fat, the homecoming queen is a hardcore tweeker, that sort of thing.

See you in a week and a half.

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The test was wrong, we’re not pregnant yet.

I’m very disappointed in my sperm, and believe you me, I’ve given them a stern talking-to.

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I’d like to teach that Carrie Underwood naughty things.

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Alternate title: Awww, crap. Or: Sperm, fuck yeah!

Update: Well, they didn’t work well enough this time. Yep, it was a false alarm, we’re not pregnant yet.

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If anyone whines about me blogging cutesy parent shit I swear that I’ll do some cat blogging later. Actually, I think I’ll do some cat and dog blogging later anyway, so whine all you want.

Today, as I was dropping him off at daycare, Christian asked me, “When does my pre-school stop being bible school?” They’re doing vacation bible school this week, and I guess he’s sick of singing songs about Jesus.

We picked out a watergun for him at Toys ‘r’ Us yesterday, in anticipation of the neighborhood’s annual Independence Day water fight (yes, Washington is rolling in his grave that we commemorate his generation’s sacrifices with water fights, hot dogs, and fireworks. Or, more probably, he’s happy that his fight for freedom worked so well that we can take it all for granted 200 years later). I wanted to get a supersoaker, but they didn’t have the one with the backpack, so he picked a different one. “Trust me, Matty, this one is cool.”

Several weeks ago he was wearing his new pants and we had to put a belt on him since new, at this age, means two sizes too large or he’ll outgrow them by Tuesday. He was happily humming along to the White Stripes in the back seat when he suddenly said, “I’m wearing my belt and going to work like a MAN!” I nearly died.

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Me: So, can we watch The French Connection tonight?

Beth: Naww, how about we watch more Alias.

Me: Why, what’s wrong with the movie?

Beth: I’m just not that into Gene Hackman.

Me: How can you not be into Gene Hackman? He’s Gene Fucking Hackman fer crissakes!

Update: So how about Clint Eastwood?

Beth: Eh…

Me: Gah!

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Bold are states I’ve been to, underlined are states I’ve lived in and italicized are state you’re in now…

Alabama / Alaska / Arizona / Arkansas / California / Colorado / Connecticut / Delaware / Florida / Georgia / Hawaii / Idaho / Illinois / Indiana / Iowa / Kansas / Kentucky / Louisiana / Maine / Maryland / Massachusetts / Michigan / Minnesota / Mississippi / Missouri / Montana / Nebraska / Nevada / New Hampshire / New Jersey / New Mexico / New York / North Carolina / North Dakota / Ohio / Oklahoma / Oregon / Pennsylvania / Rhode Island / South Carolina / South Dakota / Tennessee / Texas / Utah / Vermont / Virginia / Washington / West Virginia / Wisconsin / Wyoming / Washington D.C /

Go HERE to have a form generate the HTML for you.

Update: Somehow missed that I’ve been through Kansas and Kentucky.

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I recently took a trip to the zoo. Enjoy!

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